Those of you who regularly peruse Reader’s Digest remember a column titled, “Laughter is the best medicine”. I wholeheartedly support that idea, and sometimes during the holidays we forget that. So here is my prescription for surviving the holiday stress…laugh three times a day.

I recently attended a local high school football game and quickly lapsed into a “LOST” -like flashback when the bands took the field for the halftime entertainment. No, I wasn’t in the band in high school. The idea of walking backwards in circles while doing anything else was a bit overwhelming, but my mother was convinced that I had the potential to be the next John Philip Souza. Disregarding the fact that I was expelled from piano lessons for mixing Jerry Lee Lewis with Chopin, she felt that one way to integrate into the treacherous waters of a new high school was to join their celebrated band. I had just been uprooted from a comfortable middle school existence in Memphis to the mountains of East Tennessee , replete with orange painted outhouses, to begin my high school years. I was the size of a Hobbit, and about as good-looking, so my social integration options were vastly limited. I certainly was not a candidate for football (a religion in Knoxville) although; in retrospect, I would have made a wonderful tackling dummy. Track was not an option as I had the speed of an anemic sloth. Basket ball…well let’s just say dribbling at the level of other’s knees didn’t fare well for a stellar career. So, short of academic superiority, which would lend itself to me hiding in the bathroom between classes to avoid the wrath of Bubba the biggest, dumbest creature to spend 8 years in high school, the band was a way that maybe, just maybe, I could find my niche in an otherwise niche-less existence. At least my mother thought so. So the first day a school she set up an appointment with the band director to discuss my future musical career. Unfortunately, she made me come along. Once we arrived in the hallowed sanctuary known as the “band room” (I had found my way from the hidden crevices of the boys stalls) Mr.Jenkins, the band Grand Poobah, granted us an audience. “Now exactly what instrument does your boy play?” he asked condescendingly. I felt this was a rather appropriate question and a reasonable place to start the discussion until it dawned on me that I didn’t play an instrument. I suspected that my mother also knew this as she had not seen or heard me with anything other than a kazoo since kindergarten, but she was not fazed by the inquiry. “He doesn’t…yet”, she confidently replied. This obviously was not the response Mr. Jenkins was expecting as he stopped chewing his bologna sandwich and stared at her with a look that said, “Well what in the name of Beethovan are you doing here then?” Mom, ever the perceptive sort, picked up on his incredulity and explained that before we invested in lessons or instruments, she wanted to get his impression as to which instrument I was best suited to play. At this point, I was busily plotting both my escape and my plan for putting mom on medication. I had read of studies that looked at a person’s likelihood of being a criminal based on their physical traits, you know, beady eyes, big forehead etc, but I had yet to see any research correlating a person’s physical appearance and their ability to master a band instrument. I felt myself slowly sinking into “Music Man” hell. After choking on an errant piece of bologna, Mr.Jenkins composed himself, obviously trying to pacify the crazy woman sitting before him, and shot a glance at my face, as if to say, “Is she serious?” I cocked my head, subtly conveying the dual message that yes, she is serious and she may be armed, so do what she asks. He then proceeded to survey my mouth, fingers, eyes and anything else he could possibly think of that would indicate the ideal instrument for me. It was like being scrutinized for lice after being accused of infecting the whole school. After what seemed like hours, he stopped, grunted, and said “trumpet…yes, trumpet”. A huge grin crossed mom’s face as this seemed to validate her supposition that structure dictates function. All I could think of was Dizzy Gillespie, that huge, old guy who puffed out his cheeks to the size of a steroid laced chipmunk whenever he played his horn. I didn’t want to walk around school with the cheeks of a bloated rodent, so I instantly expressed my apprehension. Of course, my protest fell on deaf ears as mom was already negotiating horn rentals and lesson fees. How was I supposed to get the girls playing something you have to clear spit out of every few minutes. Neil Diamond never wooed a woman with his classic marching tunes! As I walked out of the room, visions of chapped lips and elastic cheeks dancing in my head, I realized that maybe I needed to find a better social adjustment technique. I wonder if girls dig science projects?


Over the past three days I have been going absolutely bonkers because of an email glitch at Medscape. I am getting no emails now, and for those of you as anal as I, you can understand how this is making me nuts. Of course it really pales when I watch the Hoyt video again (see the prior post) Anyway,I have decided to take matters into my own hands and get a new email address. So if you want to talk, trash the pol.net address and get me at reaker@yahoo.com .
Run Long

This is what it is all about. I met these folks in Boston and it was the highlight of the trip. Watch this with some tissue!

I did my first 10K in about 5 years this morning. Focusing on the marathon for the last several years has been a blast, but I realized today that keeping tuned with 5 and 10 K races is a great tool. We don't have many in my area, so I don't have to worry about them interfering with distance training. All I have read; however, speaks to the benefit of racing periodically in shorter distances to stay fresh and use them as speed workouts. I ran this one in 50.14 or about an 8 minute pace. That is about a minute and a half to two minutes faster than marathon pace, so it was a good workout. It is amazing how your body adapts to different stresses. My legs felt strong throughout, but breathing became an issue as I felt I was never quite on a comfortable rhythm. In retrospect though, that is what a speed workout should be. If you are comfortable and not hurting, you not going fast enough. There is a 5K coming up next month and I will be interested to see what I can do there.
Run Long...and Go Vols, beat Florida!

A celebration is often the result of an accomplishment, a special event or day, or honoring memories. These are good things, but do we really need the “special” to warrant a celebration? Wouldn’t it be great to be able to delight in the relatively mundane. Some of the happiest folks I know are those who relish just being able to get out of bed in the morning. We can celebrate our health, good or bad, by reflecting on what a true miracle it is that all these billions of cells are working in concert to allow us to walk, run, think, eat, love, write, and even occasionally complain. In celebration of simply being alive, I have compiled a list of rambling recommendations I have collected over the years to promote, extend, repair and rekindle your health. Let the celebration begin!

People who rarely spend time outside (elderly, housebound) are at a greater risk for osteoporosis due to a lack of vitamin D, which is increased in sun exposure. 400 IU a day in supplement form can help prevent brittle bones.

Taking 400 micrograms of folic acid a day before getting pregnant can reduce the likelihood of neural tube defects in the baby (spina bifida, etc.)

Exercise 30 minutes every day. The more and bigger the muscles used, the less time needed to achieve fitness (cross country skiing best, walking is good, using the channel changer is bad.)

The more colorful your meals the better. Bright colored fruits and veggies contain greater anti oxidants and other protective substances.

Use herbs (Black Cohosh) and vitamins (E) to control mild menopausal symptoms. Many are scientifically valid and generally safer than estrogen.

It’s not brain surgery; to eat healthy go low fat, low sugar, high fiber and balanced.

Eliminate soft drinks. An extra can of soda a day can add 15 pounds in a year.

Almost half of all doctor visits are stressed related. A great tool for stress management is regular aerobic exercise.

The solution to permanent weight loss is not dieting, it is getting fit. Only muscles burn fat, and only muscles that are used!

If you are pressed for time, three ten minute exercise sessions can be as helpful as a single thirty minute segment.

Most women over twenty need to take some extra calcium (500mg) The better the bones before menopause, the better they are afterwards.

Eating habits are formed at an early age. Teach children as early as two to be aware of good and bad food choices.

Don’t focus on weight. Your per cent body fat and/or your Body Mass Index (BMI) are better measures of health. Throw away the traditional scales and get a device that calculates body fat and BMI. They are reasonably priced and accurate.

A good doctor will always encourage and support getting a second opinion…so in important decisions, do just that.

Don’t limit yourself by thinking that health is strictly physical. Wellness is a balance of mind, body, and spirit.

Don’t skimp on preventive care. The Pap test and mammogram have saved millions of lives.

If you have a strong family history of ovarian cancer (in mother or sister) demand a yearly sonogram and CA-125 blood test to check your ovaries. It is far from a perfect screen, but it is the best available so far.

Young women (ages 9-26) who are not yet sexually active should strongly consider getting vaccinated against the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). It is the single biggest cause of pre-cancer and cancerous changes in the cervix.

Acupressure has been effective for the nausea associated with early pregnancies. The most common device used is “Sea Bands”, an elastic band that applies pressure to a point on the wrist.

Caffeine consumption is one of the leading causes of bladder problems in women. Simply eliminating caffeine from the diet can reverse symptoms of incontinence, frequency, and urgency.

Many women in the menopause need testosterone supplementation along with estrogen and progesterone to help with a lagging sex drive.

Many herbal medicines and treatments can interact with prescriptions drugs. When getting your yearly checkup, don’t forget to tell your doctor about any supplements or herbs you take on a regular basis.

Before any surgery, always stop taking Ginkgo, Ginseng, Garlic, or vitamin E. They all can increase bleeding and lead to problems with the surgery.

Always bring two things to every doctor’s visit: a written set of questions and a list of your current medications.

20 percent of cancer deaths are related to obesity. Maintaining a healthy weight may be your best guard against developing cancer.

Aerobic exercise might be even better for your brain than your body. Early studies show that exercise can cause damaged brain cells to regenerate, possibly thwarting diseases like Alzheimer’s.

The average person makes about 250 decisions about food every day and most people don't have a clue as to what influences their choices. Consciously think about what you are eating and you will generally eat less.

A massage once a week can not only reduce muscle fatigue and soreness, but it can be just as good for stress management as a session with a counselor.

The quickest way to get fit with exercise is to WALC. Wind sprints (just periodically increase the intensity of the exercise) Aerobic (this type of exercise burns fat) Lift (lifting weights builds muscle, which in turn increases metabolism) Cross train (vary your exercise regimen and you will get fit faster).

I just completed registration for the December Las Vegas Marathon...pray for me! Actually, this is a great time of year for me as my allergies seem to take a hiatus during the holidays, and plane fairs haven't gone up. We are going to take the kids on this one. I think it is incredibly important for them to see their parents actively practicing what they preach. One of these days it might actually sink in that this exercise stuff is good for them. And with this generation of folks, you have to show them, not just tell them. A big part of the Fat Proof lifestyle is being role models for the kids. They pay much more attention to what you do and not to what you say. This will be loads of fun (some good shows and eats!) and the best thing is that the course is relatively flat. This has become a big consideration as I age. The one thing I have discovered is that I don't recover from hill training like I use to. This goes back to the whole listen to your body thing. The biggest chore for me is to not only to listen but to not delude myself as to what I hear. We all have limitations. That is not an excuse, it is reality. That is certainly not to say that limitations are ..well...limiting, but smart training allows you to explore those limits without hurting yourself. I did 16.5 on the treadmill this AM (2 episodes of HBO's Rome and 1 episode of Lost) and worked in some hills and a little speed work. That's what I love about the treadmill, it allows you to customize things based on how you feel and not be limited by the route. By the way, tonight is the first game of the season for my beloved UT Vols. Go Big Orange!
Run Long.