A good friend of mine who has been in the weight management field for many years says, “To change your weight, you have to first change your mind.” There is great wisdom in that simple statement because it summarizes a terribly complex effort. Changing one’s mind is like turning the Titanic for some of us. I can’t even begin to address the complexity of emotions, beliefs, unconscious imprints, desires, and needs that go into mind changing, but suffice it to say each of us has a roadmap to change that only we can navigate. In other words, no one can change your mind for you, or tell you exactly how it is done. What I can do is give you some tools and insights as to the process and maybe outline a path for you to begin your journey towards better health.
Psychologists tell us that we humans are motivated largely by two opposite drives. We want to avoid pain and we desire pleasure. What is fascinating is that often we will spend much more time and effort avoiding perceived pain than seeking pleasure. I realize this goes against the grain of a society that promotes things like “Hedonism” and “Naked Dating”, but the impact of emotional pain in particular is a very powerful agent for change. I have seen this play out in my own practice when working with folks on weight loss. I will never forget the middle aged lady who had come to me wanting to lose forty pounds. On her first visit she looked across the table at me and tearfully said, “If I don’t get healthy, I’m not going to be able to play with my grandkids.” She was ready, and by gosh, she has done it! I could have screamed at her incessantly about her risk of heart disease, diabetes, and stroke from being overweight, and it would have all been for naught. She wanted desperately to avoid the pain of missing time with her family, and that was monumental motivation.
Often, with our weight management folks, I will have them do a simple exercise that crystallizes their motivations. I have them make two simple lists. On the left side of the paper I have them write three things they will gain by losing weight and on the right side of the paper I have them write three things they will lose by not losing weight. The key is the things have to be very personal and real. Then I have them sit quietly and imagine how they would feel if each of the things came true. I insist that they visualize each thing, good and bad, as vividly as possible and try to truly experience the emotions that it elicits. The I have them post this list somewhere where they will see it daily. I ask them to feel the emotions when they think of the bad things, as well as the joy from the good things. These emotions become massive motivators. It works, as these feelings often become the key that unlocks the desire to make changes.
Changing your mind can change your weight.
