Nothing gets me more animated than a good nutritional myth.  Well, maybe a new Bruce Willis movie, but that’s another topic all together.  Unfortunately there are plenty anachronisms, misinterpretations, and just plain stupid stuff to go around when it comes to food and health.  The hard part is limiting them to just five, sort of like how hard it is to limit the reasons why I hate loud mouth talk show hosts.

1) Being skinny means your healthy.  My mom used to always tell me that it’s not what a girl looked like on the outside, but what is on the inside that counts.  Try telling that to a hormonal hurricane of a 16 year old male with a river of testosterone coursing through his pubescent veins.  She was right of course, on many levels.  A person can be skinny appearing externally and be all squishy fat on the inside.  News flash…this is not healthy!  Skinny folks who don’t exercise and starve themselves tend to have a high percent body fat, often more than their hefty peers, and it is this percentage that increases their risks for heart disease, stroke and premature death.  An active, fit overweight person with a lower percent body fat is at lower risk for all of these things.

2) All sugar is bad for you.  As many of you know, I generally think sugar is right up there with Hitler memorabilia and small pox, but some sugar is actually very good for you.  The caveat here is that you have to be physically active and use this sugar for fuel.  Carbs and sugar are great and immediate sources of energy for muscles and absolutely essential for the active individual (remember carb loading?).  The problem arises when we eat a pound of Sugar Pops and lay down on the couch and binge watch Game Of Thrones.  Perspective and context folks…perspective and context.

3) Diets wouldn’t be so popular if they didn’t work.  That’s like saying death is a good thing because everybody does it.  There is no one size fits all when it comes to nutrition.  Simply because a diet may work in the short term…and most do, doesn’t mean they are healthy, sustainable, and easy to adopt (most aren’t).  The reason the diet industry is a multibillion dollar industry is that most folks who diet do it repetitively.  A diet works for a brief time, then you go back to abusing yourself, then you try another diet. Many times the most weight you lose is from the dollars leaving your wallet.

4) All high fat foods are bad.  Try telling that to a salmon.  Cold water fish, for example, are very high in fat content but they are considered some of the healthiest choices to eat on the planet.  They contain fat, but it is predominantly polyunsaturated fat which actually heart healthy.  They literally ooze omega 3 fatty acids which are super efficient antioxidants that promote health in a number of ways.  After all, our brain is around 70% fat, so the next time someone calls you a fathead, say thank you.


5) Natural substances like honey are safer than table sugar.  A rose by any other name is still a rose, and honey is just…sugar.  Honey contains predominantly glucose and fructose and table sugar (sucrose) contains glucose…and surprise! fructose.  When either is ingested, enzymes break both into their components and from then on they are essentially the same.  Always remember “natural” doesn’t necessarily mean safe or better.  Strychnine and arsenic are natural and I’m not putting those in my coffee. 


To some, the title of this article seems obvious.  Of course men should assume their rightful duties and help with everyday household chores.  Not so fast dust pan breath! The reality is that household chores are not evenly split, especially among the over 65 age group.  Given this horrendous travesty of domicile justice, what does this possibly have to do with health?  Besides the obvious potential trauma from a disgruntled spouse, it turns out that an imbalance in domestic duties can reflect in poorer health consequences, especially for senior citizens.

Those crazy Brits at the University of Oxford did a study where they analyzed the activities of 35,000 men and women in seven countries, all over 65, and attempted to correlate those activities with various health outcomes. More specifically, the team looked at how much time the adults spent on 41 different activities each day, including cooking, cleaning, shuffleboard, mountain climbing, and other household chores, and how these affected overall health, which was self-reported.  What was interesting about this study is that they focused on domestic chores (okay, I made up the mountain climbing). The scientists looked at how time spent on household activities varies between older men and women — something they say has never before been investigated.

I suspect they had to use this cohort of people because in today’s enlightened society, everyone knows that millennials share home chores equally and marital bliss is far advanced over their aged parents and grandparents.  You see, the over 65 crowd is obviously stuck in the Neanderthal age of women being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and men smoking cigars and killing brontosauruses for fun and profit.  Is my sarcasm biting enough?  Anyway, what they found was that in this cohort indeed there was a discrepancy in the amount of hours spent on domestic duties between men and women. 

The study revealed that older men engaged in 3.1 hours of household activities per day, while older women spent almost 4.7 hours daily on housework — almost 2 hours more every day.  So what?, you may speculate. It turns out that less housework was associated with poor health status among both genders.


They surmise that the more housework that one did, the better your health outcomes, as long as it didn’t interfere with sleep.  If  your bride was up past midnight doing laundry, all health benefits went out the window.  So the take home message is that old folks need to split up the chores, get adequate rest, and stop watching so much darn Murder She Wrote.



I am a cutting edge kind of guy.  Hey, I was one of the first to recognize that email was going to be big, and that was way back in 2016.  One of the purposes of this blog is to keep you abreast of new and interesting ideas in the field of health and wellness, so I regularly scour the InterWeb seeking the newest and most innovative information.  Unfortunately, I don't have that for you today.

Instead, I want to make you aware of a trend that I find personally offensive; placenta abuse.  I am not talking about the Area 51 wackos who make their afterbirth into smoothies, no, I am talking about a breed of entrepreneurs who are so vile and corrupt in what they do that they defy categorization.  These are the sheep placenta stealers.  Somewhat akin to the grave robbers of the 18th century, these madmen, and madwoman I suspect, take sheep afterbirth and create skin creams and the such.  Not only do they use this mass of chorionic jelly in their products, but they are also openly proud about it.  They announce their vileness right there on their labels calling their witches brew MZ Skin Restorative Placenta and Stem Cell Night Serum.  Imagine that marketing committee's debate: “Should we use placenta in the label or just call it Uncle Fud's Wrinkle Magic?”

These unapologetic sheep exploiters should not only be arrested for terminal bad taste, but I am amazed that the animal rights folks haven't tried to throw red paint all over their placenta vats.  What if the sheep wanted their afterbirth? What if they wanted to encase it in plastic and display it on the mantle in the stable? I just think PETA is really missing the boat on this one.

Then these face cream criminals have the audacity to include stem cells in their concoction.  Stem cells...What!  The darling of the anti-technology goobers, the use of stem cells in anything "natural" is tantamount to putting genetically modified corn in your homemade still.  And they don't say where the stem cells come from.  Are they earthworm stem cells? Maybe stem cells from the Argentinian Wombat?

Somehow someone thought it was a good idea to take sheep placentas and mush them up with stem cells from some unknown animal and rub it all over your face.  Honestly, it sounds like a bad drug dream to me.

The article where I read about this makeup monstrosity went on to quote a prominent skin care doctor who said, "Ovine placenta in skincare hasn’t officially been studied."  First, I didn't know you called sheep ovines, and secondly, who knew that this was not an area of Nobel Prize-worthy study!

        All this rant and angst to say that you have to be a critical consumer and not fall for some cockamamie scheme whether it is to smooth your skin or prolong your life.






       Okay, I think we can all agree that period cramps are about as fun as the shingles in July, so I will dispense with all the statistics about how common they are blah, blah, blah.  And, of course, being a male type person, I have never myself experienced the joy of femalehood; however, I have walked through this demon infested experience with countless women over the past thirty years, so I think I have earned the right to try to help alleviate this burden.  In fact, next to trashing a Kardashian, nothing gives me more pleasure than finding a way to get relief for a patient.  There are a number of therapeutic options, but I want to focus this post on three “natural” remedies that have been proven to help.  I put natural in quotations because I really don’t like to use that term, mainly because no one can agree on what it means.  In this instance, I simply mean non pharmaceutical methods.  Come on, this is a 500 word post, cut me some slack.

As far as supplements go, the par excellence is omega 3 fatty acids.  These anti-inflammatory wonders have been tested in everything from arthritis to menstrual cramps and have proven their pain relieving chops.  The key is taking adequate amounts and of adequate quality.  Let’s face it, there is a lot of garbage being sold as omega 3 fatty acid supplements including fish oils and borage seed oils, but many either contain little if any of the active ingredient or have so many other impurities it renders them useless. My pick for quality and purity is the brand Omega XL.  I have some personal experience with this product and can vouch for its effectiveness.  For menstrual cramps I suggest a daily dose, but then pump it up about a week before the period.

Magnesium is kind of like the guy in your office that everyone knows, but no one knows exactly what he does.  This mineral is a wonderful muscle relaxer and has been used for years for muscle cramps and GI issues.  The uterus is a big muscle, so it only follows that when that bad girl cramps down, which she does on a regular basis during your period, that relieving that would have a beneficial effect…and it does.  Be careful however because too much of a good thing might make Sally a sad girl.  Excess magnesium can cause diarrhea and may put a damper on a hot date.  I recommend 300-400 mg daily about 2-3 days before and during your cycle for relief.  Keep in mind this is just a suggestion and your medical history may dictate otherwise.  Oh, and if you poop every hour on that dose, I recommend decreasing it.


I know it’s not an herb or mineral but exercise has shown to reduce menstrual cramps in many studies.  I realize that exercising on your period is about as fun as a Pamela Anderson film festival, but it really does help.  And it doesn’t have to be training for a marathon, a simple brisk walk for 30-45 minutes can keep your baby bag blissful.  You’ve all probably heard of the runner’s high, that endorphin rush you get when you exercise like a maniac.  Well the same chemicals responsible for this are released at a lower volume with even moderate exercise, and these little buggers have the painkilling ability of morphine!  I am not suggesting you spin on an exercise bike for anesthesia during a root canal, but it can definitely help the girl flu. 

     




         I like a good fad just like the next guy, but occasionally things get pushed a bit far.  For example, when I was in college streaking was at its heyday. For those uninitiated (or younger than 30) streaking was basically running naked in public, preferably where there was a lot of people.  I have to say here that I was not a participant as in college I was short, a bit dumpy, and very white so there was not a big demand for streaking gnomes, but I did enjoy watching Betty Sturdavent streak one lazy afternoon in the commons area of our dorm.  She was gifted in very many ways, but one of those was not speed, so we got a good look at all her other gifts.

A more recent fad is planking, where one lays flat either on the ground or on other stationary objects and inevitably has multiple pictures taken to display on their social media format of choice.  Fortunately for all of us the planking usually occurs fully clothed, as most of those who carry this out have no business being naked.

I am especially fond of health fads like swallowing goldfish and eating one’s placenta.  While most of these are harmless, I have a hard time recommending them to a general audience.  Between you and me, if you eat your placenta you should have an immediate psychiatric evaluation as you have no business being a parent, but I digress.  One of my current favorites is colonics.  This is a fun afternoon where you pay someone to give you an enema.  How can that not be a blast (literally!).  Besides the fact that it does nothing for your health, it just strikes me as odd that someone would voluntarily pay for what is normally a prep for a colonoscopy.

I recently ran across an Internet story that is not exactly a fad, but once I looked into it actually seemed to have some legitimacy.  Let me preface this by reminding folks of my interest in weight management.  I am always on the lookout for any tips and tools for weight control, so when I saw an article about carbohydrate intake I was immediately interested.  In fact this article claimed that a simple test could determine whether eating carbs could put inches on your love handles.  According to geneticist Sharon Moalem, author of The DNA Restart, you can discern how well your body digests carbs and illuminate your personal carb tolerance with something called "the cracker test."

The cracker test involves, surprise, eating a cracker and is based on the enzymes produced in the mouth. One theory of carbohydrate intolerance is based on the level of enzymes that break down the carbs to glucose.  The quicker you notice a change in taste or a sweetness, the more amylase enzyme you have and the lees likely you are to put on the pounds with carbs.  If the taste doesn’t change you probably need to void as many carbs as you can if you are trying to lose weight.

While this is a crude at best assay, there is some scientific validity (unlike the colonics!).  We have always known there is variability in persons tolerance of carbohydrates, and this may help identify those folks early on.





        We are all going to die.  How’s that for a positive start to things! But, in spite of some wacko millionaire freezing himself for a couple of hundred years, most sane people will die.  That doesn’t mean we have to die today or tomorrow.  Again, most sane people would like to live well as long as possible.  We all know that cancer is one of the leading causes of death and destruction on the planet.  I suspect if I told you I had a pill that, taken daily, would reduce your chance of dying from cancer by half, most of you would sell your ugly sister to the gypsies to get the money to buy it.  Needless to say I don’t have such a pill (I would be lounging on the beach of my private island if I did), but I can tell you four things that you can do that will accomplish the same outcome. 

Don’t smoke… anything.  Do I really need to harp on this?  I can’t believe there are still folks who don’t know that smoking increases your risk of everything from lung cancer to terminal halitosis.  Cigarette manufacturers ought to have to go to work every day dressed as the Grim Reaper because their product is as poisonous as a viper’s venom.  Do whatever you need to do to stop, hypnosis, medicines, counseling, wiring your mouth shut.  Just do it…now…no excuses. 

Don’t drink at all, or at least in moderation, alcohol that is.  For you mincers of words, let me define moderation.  That’s 1 drink of the grape a day for women and 2 for men.  I realize that for many moderation means just short of passing out, but these are the same people who run naked onto ballfields.  Moderate intake has been associated with a slight decrease in cancer deaths, probably due to the antioxidants (resveratrol and proanthocyanidins) that populate the Merlots and Cabernets, but realistically you can get the same impact from eating grapes.  Live like the old Greek philosophers, nothing in excess, everything in moderation.

Keep your BMI in a healthy range.  First BMI doesn’t stand for Butt Massive Index but Body Mass Index.  It is a simple measurement that divides your weight by your height and is loosely correlated to how much fat you carry on your bones.  A high BMI (>25) is associated with a number of medical problems such as cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure , and trouble finding XXXL shorts.  A better tool which is more predictive is your % body fat, but that takes some effort and measurements which aren’t available to everyone, but everyone can measure their height and weight (and if you can’t, being overweight is the least of your problems).

Exercise a little everyday.  Maybe a better way to put this is to increase your daily activity.  It doesn’t have to be a formal sweat session with your Attila the Hun personal trainer.  It may be just taking the stairs or parking a bit farther away from your destination.  Even these simple changes have been connected to lower cancer deaths.  This is one category where more is better (unlike the wine) so lace up the tennies and get moving.


You literally can reduce your chance of dying from cancer by 50% by doing all these things.  The biggest question is …why aren’t you?