I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately. I don’t know if that is a symptom of aging neurons, brain cells drowning in a sea of Metamucil and Tums, or simply where my wine-fertilized brain is gravitating, but nevertheless, that is what I am musing over.
Change is both necessary and hard. On a macro level, change is one of the few human characteristics that has allowed our species to propagate to the point of suffocation. If we as Homo Sapiens weren’t adept at change, both in our physical and psychological makeup, we would still be quivering blobs of protoplasm scouring the savannah for leftover brontosaurus brisket. Our ability to adapt is possibly the singular characteristic that makes us human. One constant about both our physical environment as well as our between-the-ears milieu is that, given a skinny minute, things will change. If we are not changing, whether it is changing our immune system to ward off the latest mutant virus or our beliefs to deal with the latest emotional crisis, we are dying. If change is so prescient - so primary - to our existence, why is it so darn hard?
Even though we are psychologically programmed to accomplish change, we are equally preset to embrace stability, and stability and safety often mean staying the same. The devil we know is somewhat preferred over the devil we don’t know. Neurologically this can be seen in the connections our brain cells make when we create habits through repetition. Habits, by definition, are behaviors that are repeated over and over the same way, an apparent antithesis to change, yet the brain is wired to make these pathways more accessible and useful. In other words, your brain likes repetition because it takes less energy to accomplish whatever it is you are repeating. And if anything, your brain likes the idea of energy conservation. Whatever burns less fuel, like repeating the same behavior, is the default mechanism.
So even though change is needed for survival, it takes extra calories and therefore extra work to accomplish. This is a simple physiological reason for us getting nauseated at the thought of a new challenge or a change in routine. Probably a bigger reason for our aversion to change is not rooted in synapses and dendrites but in perceptions and beliefs. When it comes down to it, change is often a head game. How does this change make me feel? What scares me about this different way of doing or thinking? What will happen if this change takes place, or even what won’t happen if this change takes place? All of these questions, consciously or unconsciously, arise when faced with shifting landscapes. Thus change is hard from both a physiological and a psychological perspective. So why does this matter?
Enough of the psychobabble. Just tell me how to embrace change and not make it so scary. Our hurry-up society screams, “Tell me how to get from here to there with the least effort, energy, sweat, and sacrifice.”
Step number one is simple cognitive restructuring. (There you go again with the big words). Translated, that means accept the fact that change is inevitable and move on (to put it in terms my kids get, s#*t happens!). Sometimes just accepting that it is what it is, is the most healthy way to go.
Step number two is deciding whether this change in behavior, actions, habits, or environment, is congruent with where you want your life to go. That is predicated on you know where you want your life to go! If you’re not there yet, turn off your computer and decide right now what you want your life to mean. (As if it was that easy). But you get my point. Judge the value of any change by your life’s mission. If it furthers you on the path, jump in with both feet. If it doesn’t, rethink it. Notice I didn’t say if it would be easy, fun, or what your mother would want.
Step number three is to be the agent of change. Influence your own destiny by preempting situations, thoughts, and actions to align with who you are or want to be. Be an influencer, not like a Kardashian, but like someone who actually has depth and a desire to see a positive change in self and others.
Be the change you want t see in your world. Embrace it, encourage it, fear it, but face it.
